What bothers me isn't so much the work thing, as I agree with all the advice above but I kinda understand it's awkward and scary to bail on a good job when there's no possibility of transfer, etc. (Still not optimum, obviously, but I "get it".)
OTOH, you said something about her phone still being set to auto-delete for sent messages. Is this something you have discussed with her? Is it an oversight, or deliberate? Because it seems to me that changing that is something she could EASILY do to contribute to an atmosphere conducive to openess/rebuilding trust. If she is unwilling ... well, it's hard not to question her motives/committment. My impression from what you have written is that she is so immersed in fleeing her own guilt and pain that ameliorating *your* pain is of less importance to her.
That's not the best sign, IMHO, and you will have to decide how patient you are willing/able to be. A loving person, forgives, yes, but equally a loving person attempts to heal the damage they caused to the absolute best of their ability.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
