You found a great site. Keep posting on this thread and you will get the support you need.
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He says he wants to finalize divorce as soon as possible (although he hasn't filed yet).
Do you wamt D? If not let him do all the work. This will buy you time for him to notice all your positive changes. Validate his statements. Memorize this: "I can understand why you want a divorce. I do not want a divorce, but I will not stand in your way."
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Should I just go along with everything he says?
NO! You should UNDERSTAND and validate everything he says.
Example:
H: "The sky is green" U: "I understand you believe the sky is green." or "I am sorry you feel the sky is green" or "mmmmm" or "Ahhhh"
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How do I handle the property division?
IF you get to this stage, Make sure you get a fair split. The big money items (ie house, cars,property, retirement funds) were easy to value and split. I live in an Equal Equity state. As far as the house hold items. I asked myself these questions: Do I want/use this item more than spouse. If the answer was YES, I requested it. If no I offered it. No reason to have two lawyers fighting over a $250 kitchen aid. I left the old one for MsR2C and purchased a new one. Layers were getting paid ~$300/hour each to argue.
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I feel like asking for the whole enchilada - I've spent the last 20 years taking care of the kids and his behind while he has gotten his education and worked on his career; I am basically a housewife and mother while he is very well connected within our country's business and political community, his girlfriend slut is an MBA bank department manager.
If D goes down, get the best lawyer you can find. He will make sure you get what is fair. sounds like you should be entitled for Spousal maint, but your local lawyers will know the law and what you are entitled to. You can start talking to lawyers NOW to get yourself educated on the process and find one you like.
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I feel so abandoned and disrespected, I am so angry and sad.
I am sorry. I know it hurts. Keep working on you. Feel the feelings then let them go.
PS I have read Michele's books(Busting and Remedy) and am trying to implement what I've read there.[/quote]Implement as many positive changes as you can. I have many other good books you can read listed on the first post of my thread.
Just remember that everything will be OK. Take everything one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if needed. DO NOT FEAR the future. DO NOT LET FEAR control you. Face your fear and it will not control your life. Always do your best. Get legal advise......
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712