Well, we spoke again last night. It was bad. She had gotten back from IC, and said that they decided that W should speak to my IC totell him to stop givinge false hope, that W has no past issues. I told her I don't hold any false hope, I am just committed to our M and want to exhaust every possible means of fixing it. I asked who on her side knows so far, and she told me her sister and close girlfriend. I asked what they were telling her, and she said they were supporting her, that if she is unhappy, she should end the M. So I am working against her family and her IC. Next I asked her what she sees the future as. She said she could go on like we are for the kids. I told her I couldn't. Then we talked about how to separate. There is no money or equity in the house, so we couldn't come up with a plan yet. Then she brought up the kids and it got ugly. She said lids should ne with their mother, and should stay I'm the house. I agreed that they should stay in the house, but kids also need their father, and I wasn't the one who wanted out of the M, so I wasn't leaving the house anyway. It went downhill from there. So I woke up very depressed this morning, and now I have to go to work and pretend nothings happening. God, give me strength.
My wife confided in a close friend and I asked the same question, what does she thing about all of this, of course my wife's response was that she was for whatever would make her happy. I then told her not to confuse good advice from support from a friend.
Then I started to realize I had to be more of an attorney when speaking with her, if I was going to ask a question like that, to be damned sure to know what the answer was going to be.
Now, also, you have an advantage of her living in the same house, and you can detatch from her while she is there, remember to have your own life around her, and make sure you tell her that you have plans the next time she has "plans". Treat her as if she is just an old college roommate.
As far as the affair that she is having, just remember to do whatever puppy says.
