Start of the end..

[iwantittowork]

I need some insights from experienced DB'er's, I have some questions that need serious thought/action from me, and not sure of which way to go. I am working on GAL, lost 25+ pounds, and starting to go out with friends more, and do things just for me.

1) Fear of Detachment: I realize now, that I am actually afraid to detach, for fear of NOT wanting my relationship reconciled. Is that something anyone has happened to them? I have been trying to detach, but the undercurrent of fear has kept me from being able to do so, and I believe it's the case that I am afraid of what will happen after I detach????

2) Because our M is financially a 0 sum game currently, and a D will essentially be a piece of paper, and we go our separate ways, my W has said we should just live together and stay married until we clear those up, which could be 6 months to a year.

There are now 2 ways I have been looking at #2 above, and where I need some thoughts from experienced DB'ers:
- I can push for the D myself, and the above post from me when I decided what I wanted from the D and approached my W with was a start in that direction, thinking my W only wants to wait around to get more money once our investments are disposed of.

- I can try and stick it out living with her, make the changes I want to do for myself, and see if R our M is possible in the cards during that timeframe?

Since truly in my heart what I want is to R, does it make sense for me to push for D, when it's not what I want? Or am I glossing over the fact that my W is just wanting the extra money in the end?

Since I want to R, is it better I leave, and DB, or try and DB while at home?

I have not been doing well at DB'ing, but getting better now that I am trying to GAL, following some of the great advice here, etc.