Still Wondering How To Handle Things!!

[Sanderika]

Kissak,

I have stated I don't have the answers...maybe think about this:

Maybe opening the door to a sex life with H will open other doors for the two of you as well.

You say H isn't with OW right now or anyone else for that matter. Isn't it possible with the contact H is making that H is truthfully realizing what he's lost. Perhaps he is just playing more of the same game, then again maybe not?

I think that H is a little sensitive right now with the whole FB story. Perhaps if kissak were to ramp up the attention and make H feel wanted and loved you could turn things around. Maybe H is vulnerable right now and the timing would be right. You could do some 180s. Be the greener grass, show H good times. Treat him well, speak to him softly and compassionately.

It's a way to test the water...You know, give it one last shot. If this ends up being a game H likes to play...Cat Catches the Mouse, Plays, Dumps, Leaves Wounded, Replay....you know the rest of the game, then file for a legal separation or divorce. Totally take it to a place that will stop him in his tracks.

I am not saying to just jump right into bed with him. Play him, tease him, ramp it up. Show H a side to kissak that intrigues him. Show him you are fun. Give him something that will make him want to be around. Take your time and when the time feels right let him have you. See if there is one more chance to save your marriage.

In my sitch, and I know others here totally disagree with having sex with the WS, it has kept my marriage alive. Without the sex being great we would not have re-created our friendship. I understand we are not back together, however we are a heck of a lot closer than we were 47 months ago. It has been a gut wrenching ride I will never forget. I know in my heart, H is having a hard time leaving me because he likes me and well...It's hard to leave someone you have re-connected with.

Kissak, try and rekindle the connection. Isn't it worth a try?

You have come too far to give up without seeing what is going on this time. Perhaps H is in a different place than before(?)

Just something to think about....I might be way off the mark. If I am I am sorry.

You know I am worried about what my H is going to do in court. I am also not sure what I am going to do. I might just be ready to follow through. I am getting closer everyday, like you I am in a much stronger emotional place than I have ever been. It could be H being left in the dust by Sanderika(!)(?)

I will watch for your thoughts....

Sanderika