T- If I shared my old posts, which I won't do, you would probably drop dead from two things--1. Shock at the changes in me and 2. Disbelief at my life and how anyone would still want to save a M. Sometimes I think about it and ask myself if I am totally nuts.
Been through a lot is an understatement, but what has always helped me is that with the exception of MLC/depressive times, H has always been there with me. I can't say I wouldn't have experienced similar difficulties and trials if I had married someone else. Good always comes from the bad. Plus, even if I am not always given details of a situation or the outcome, I have, for my whole life known what was coming and that the end result would be ok. I have never received a phone call, since I was a child, with the news of someone's death, without knowing as the phone rings who was on the other end and what they were going to share. I just have a sort of sixth sense about things. It gets clouded if I am too emotionally involved but...
The touch and go's are hard and they definately test our strength. I too am trying to look at the touch and go's that way. In some ways it is easier when they just ignore you. But they have to maintain that little connection. I personally have wondered if living at home makes this last longer for them. But I refuse to do anything right now to alter the situation in that respect so...
Let yourself feel your emotions. Take them here to vent, take them to God, just don't take them to H. You will know if and when you can share your feelings with him, but now is not the time.
Have a good day.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
