Deep - I had an A while I was married with a co-worker. We did break it off, but we still worked together. I actually hated him at that point, he discusted me. However, I saw him everyday and it did not allow me and my husband to recover.
We tried to basically sweep it all under the rug, thinking our love for each other would trump the pain and the past.
This was absolutely incorrect. We needed serious marriage counseling and I needed to have quit my job immediately and gotten 100% away from the OM forever. Because we did not do those things, eventually I ended up cheating again much later down the road.
Whatever the original reasons and issues were that your W decided to cheat, those issues and reasons are still there, AND she is still in contact with her OM. Please consider serious marriage counseling if you want to recover your marriage. Without it there isn't that much chance. You two cannot do it all on your own. You need a third party to help you.
Oh how I wish someone would have slapped me upside the head and told me this when I was in your W's position...instead, now we are divorced.
