Beginnersmind asked me to stop over because I too am going through a bankruptcy and D. I can't give a lot of advice because I live in a different state and I am definitely not the expert, but I can tell you that the order in which you take certain steps can make a HUGE difference on how things will come out financially for you in the end.
For example, at one point I was all ready to file for D in order to protect myself because my L was afraid if H filed for bankruptcy, I might have a hard time getting "maintenance" and thus would loose my house. I was literally on the phone to my H telling him my L was going to file the next day when the bankruptcy lawyer called me back to say that if I got "maintenance" then I would be over the income requirements for qualifying for Chapter 7 and would have to go with Chapter 13.
Before that, I had a different bankruptcy lawyer advise me to just file for Chapter 7 and drop the house and everything and "just start over" and "count it as a 28 year learning experience".
I won't go into detail, but by finding the right lawyer(s) and being able to work with my them together (and with my H present too) made all the difference. Now, as it turns out I am after all filing for Chapter 13 (which in fact DOES relieve you of debt, although not ALL debt). I will be able to keep my home and actually come out pretty well financially when all is said and done. Yes, the bankruptcy will be on my record (which is a tough pill to swallow when before this we had stellar credit and were never late on a payment.....not once!!).
BUT, I have spoken to several people who have gone through bankruptcy and found that contrary to popular belief, it is not all that difficult to get credit after a bankruptcy. In fact, about a year after the bankruptcy, it seems that everybody and his brother wants to loan money because you are legally barred from filing bankruptcy again for a period of time, so to many creditors, a person who has gone through a bankruptcy is "golden". Yes, you may have to pay some higher rates of interest at first until you "re-establish" your credit, but that's not a terrible price to pay to get out from under the crushing burden that massive debt can have.
My best advice is to sit down with BOTH your D lawyer and the best bankruptcy lawyer you can find and discuss the options. As I said, the order in which you do things can make all the difference. And 30 days is NOT very long when it comes bankruptcy. It takes some time to get all the paperwork together (lists of assets......in minute detail! ).
Take care, FIB!
((((((hugs))))))
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
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