WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

It kind of has me stumped about your wife. She keeps finding "excuses" to contact you but she turns around and reminds you how ugly she's treated you. I "know" why a WAW treats her H ugly, but I haven't really figured out why she persists in this contacting. Most WAW's want as little to do with their LBH as possible. The more the H tries to approach the WAW....the more ugly she will be toward him.

If you had the nerve to do it, I would think about calling her bluff on this S. In other words, see how serious she really is about sticking to her S from you. I just have a feeling that if she thought you didn't give a donkey's tail flip about her anymore, that she would break her neck getting you back. As I've tried to tell you before, it is human nature.....and especially with a WAW. However, I don't know if you've reached that place where you can do it b/c it would be the same as dropping the rope.

Sandi,

She really has me stumped as well. Even my WAW friend, who I haven't talked to in 3 weeks (since I lost my job), thinks its really bizzare. Ironically, we both had our kids signed up for baseball (my 3 year old and her 4 year old) so she had actually seen my wife. She hadn't talked to her nor did I talk to my WAW friend in front of my wife. My WAW friend seen how at times she is distant (stands away from me) and other times is right next to me laughing and thinks its odd.

My WAW friend also witnessed the DAM I am as after one session, my wife called all upset about how cold I was acting towards her, I had thought we had a good time, but my WAW friend asked me the next morning if I had gotten in trouble with my wife. I hadn't realized how oblivious I was until that moment.

Anyway, I had thought I about what you had suggested. My therapist had a fancy name for it, where the person with the least interest in the relationship typically has all the power. Right now that's my wife as she keeps throwing in my face that she doesn't want a marriage relationship with me anymore.

Interestingly enough though, when we were eating dinner one of my friends called. I didn't answer it, but she made some comment about how she knew it I was right that it wouldn't take more than 2 weeks to have a girlfriend. I told her that I had thought that's what she had wanted me to do. She didn't seem to think it was funny, but I didn't tell her who it was.

Thanks again for dropping in and checking in on my situation. I appreciate you taking your time to share your thoughts and experience.

Take care