W is having Affair -- may leave soon -- thread 2

[S.T. _I Made It!]

after reading the first page, I'm kinda disappointed with most of you. This is not about revenge people, it's about saving the M.

now, I haven't read the second page, so perhaps others have had different viewpoints. I also haven't read your previous thread, so that will make a difference as well, and I cannot read it due to time sake.

IMHO, and this is coming from someone who has been there, on both sides, and God did save my M.

Which would you rather, her to be in the presence of the world? or for her to have more time with you who can show her the love of Jesus? I kicked my H out before I read DB, and the day after God gave me a friend who told me this. I immediately told him that I made a mistake and I did not want to push him out of our childrens lives sooner than needed, and he was welcome in our home as long as his contact remained OUTSIDE our home.

You DO need to set some boundaries for yourself. but I would not kick her out. The reason people fall into A's is because they are not receiving the love that THEY needed in the M. something was missing, and then someone outside the M starts fulfilling that need, and they become disillusioned. It is not love they have found. Love is a choice, not a feeling. feelings come and go, but you cannot explain that to someone in an A. You can only gently lead them out of it, but they do have to figure it out themselves.

IMHO, you need to GALing the heck out of yourself and start making YOU happy. start reflecting on who God wants you to be, for yourself, for your M, everything. we all know that we cannot change our spouse, we can only change ourselves, but in doing so, we change the whole sitch and when we react differently, so will our spouse.

Have you read For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn? I have read the For Women Only and it is a very insightful book written by a christian novelist. I highly urge you to read it.

and fyi, no offense to any of you here, I do not believe he should be a doormat, however, we must work strategically. If we do such an such, will that get us closer to our goal of saving the M, or further away?

what are things that you are doing for yourself to better yourself and GAling? focus on you, not on her.