Thank you again for recommending The Walk Out Woman. It came this morning, I'm about 40 pages into it and I've only teared up twice If only I knew. Sooner. I want to give my hurtin' wife a copy with a note saying, "talk to me..."
Even though she is a Walk Out Woman, I think she'd get something out of it, too.
But I am invoking the 48 hour rule. If the time is ever right to give it to her, it will make itself known, as always.
Thanks again. So much.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I was wondering if you could check out my sitch later. I was wondering if when you were recovering from the OM, that you would lash out at your H too when you thought he was "attacking" you. Thanks!
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I didn't want to post this on his thread over on Newcomers, but I just read your latest to manofgod34 and hadda tell ya:
Damn, you're good. Whew!
LOL.....oh, shucks! (To tell you the truth...I had to go back and delete some stuff cause I got a little rough--and decided he may never come back to the board.) You never know who's reading what is posted, so I always hope that it helps "somebody".
Thanks
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Oh... MJ......that is fantastic!! You are doing great! It does help to have some distance for a while and give the emotions a rest, doesn't it? I can't tell you how proud I am of you! Keep up the good job and you will be surprised how much better you feel about yourself. He will be thinking of you the entire time he's not hearing from you (lol) and wondering about you. I think this trip will help both of you.
Have fun!
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'm finding major animosity setting in towards H. I don't have this feeling while I'm at home. Being away from the situation I can see how much easier it is to detach. I'm also getting this ' I deserve better than him' attitude.
Its been a while since I posted but wanted to touch base with you. Things have been quiet this end, I had a lovely birthday in London with my friends which was great. My h and I don't talk now, only contact is via email at my insistence. At this stage I have needed to put up boundaries and it simply hurts too much to see him and to speak with him. He is fine with that, indifferent I would say. He makes no effort to contact me otherwise. There is no care, no interest in my life. No questions about my health, about my work which I am managing to get a little bit of over the next few months to tide me over until I get back to my main job in September. I have thought that this is WAH/MLC but he is so indifferent. He is still living with OW, maintaining regular contact with D7 etc. He has redirected all of his mail now to an alternative address. He is now not even behaving like he is angry anymore, just very polite and civilised in the emails. No anger or resentment. I am detaching because it is helping me that I dont have to see him. But i am grieving for the man I married. I am trying to move on every day, I have good friends and a wonderful daughter. But in the quieter moments I sob and sob. My health is still quite bad but am going back to hospital this coming Friday fora consultation so I am hoping for a bit more clarity on my sitch. I feel all hope is lost now for my marriage. It has only been 6 months but i feel what has happened in that time has been catastrophic. I hope that you are well Sandi. Looking forward to hearing from you soon I hope. I x
Hi Shannon. I am doing better. Thanks for your concern. I say your name often in my prayers. It is so sad to see these things transpire. It seems like when they reach the point of "indifference" then it is time to give up. As long as they are showing anger & hurt.....then that means they still have strong feelings.....but indifference simpley means they don't care one way or the other. It's worse than "cold".
I do hope you can grieve for the man you fell in love with. You "need" to do that in oder to move on and find peace. This has and still is tramatic to live through. There is no easy way around it. But, Shannon, from day one, I thouhgt.....here is a classy lady who is strong and graceful and can do what she needs to do to be health and move on to the next chapter in her life.......and she will do it with anticipation b/c she is a positive person. You will intentionaly look for good in your life and you WILL find it. I know we certainly found it in "you" when you came to the DB board.
So, yes, you greive, sweetie b/c it is necessary. You keep coming back as long as we can help give you any strength at all. Just for the conversation.....would be nice....
I've got to get ready to turn in for the night. You take care.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
There was a book mentioned in a recent post and now I can't find it... something about Tough Love?? I know you have a lot of input on books.. thank you
If only I knew. 
Oh... MJ......that is fantastic!! You are doing great! It does help to have some distance for a while and give the emotions a rest, doesn't it? I can't tell you how proud I am of you! Keep up the good job and you will be surprised how much better you feel about yourself. He will be thinking of you the entire time he's not hearing from you (lol) and wondering about you. I think this trip will help both of you.