Oh, absolutely, "if" your W is willing to receive what it has to say. I don't know how to explain this very well. I was in an EA. I knew it was wrong and that I needed to stay in my M b/c it was "the right thing to do". "Doing the right thing", however, doesn't promise the feelings that you want to support it. But, what I'm trying to say is that I had reached a point where I was "seeking" direction. Unless your W is seeking direction in her life, I don't think she would be receptive of any book or any other material on M. Frankly, I don't think she's seeking any direction b/c she wants the dating scene. She wants to be single.

I pray I have her wrong and this is something that she will end and realize she had a special man at home, but so often when they leave their H's with the "intentions of dating"......that is just a nice word for wanting to sleep around and experience the "single" life. She sounds like she wants to cut all ropes from you and I think that if you went dark on her and left her at her demise in this PA........then maybe she would learn the hard way that the A was not what she wanted. I'm just trying to be realistic with you and go by my gut here.

There is something you must absolutely stop right now. And that is sending her emails and turning right around and apologizing. That makes you appear to be a weak person and she will not be attracted to that at all. You have to be strong and stick to your principles and don't cave when you see her or hear her voice. If you have to have another person to be the go-between in trasporting the chidren between the homes in order not to come in contact with her......whatever works. But I think she needs to miss you and she won't do that if you are on the phone, TM, emails, etc. Go dark and leave her alone. It will help you also. If she starts missing you, than maybe you'll find out if that throws a money wrench into this A or not.

What about you? Would you be able to forgive her for this A?

The main thing to look for is how does she respect you as a man? How do you feel about your self? That is what she'll see and respond to.

Later,
Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!