25- the thing with my dad really got to me and I let H know that tonight, my dad has his own reputation and is a stand up guy, really. He has done the right thing by NOT enabling us and giving us money he knows would be pissed away on BS. Perhaps not the right thing to do to get into it but it sure illuminated why I wanted out of this marriage before and how we differ philosophically. It was also more about what other people think and it makes me sick.
This was an argument that we had throughout the years. That if we lived within our means and had a budget and then needed help, I would ask for it. Otherwise, our finances are our responsibility.
Also today, he wanted to come by. I told him only after a certain time (so we would not be here). He guilted and acted like I was keeping him from his kids. I told him we were busy and getting out of the house would be too hard with him stopping by in the middle. I explained that if he wants more time he can schedule it. Hard stuff but I stuck to my guns...yes, separating is hard...duh.
Maybe the interaction helps me remember what his faults were. I have been in such a fog, feeling so responsible, so guilty because of course there were things I did or didn't do that I regret...but, it actually helps to have a rehash of an old spat to refresh my memory.
