Looking For Help

[Looking_For_Help]

Hi Sandi,

I understand what you mean. It was just that I could tell my W was hurting and I wanted to do something nice (a 180 for me)...that's all. However, I do feel at peace with myself when I pray and go to church. I've noticed that my anxiety attacks have gone away in the last two weeks.

I returned from my vacation last night. It was a great trip! I returned very relaxed and carefree. The kids exploded as they described to their mother how much fun they had. I downloaded vacation photos from my camera to my computer. My W showed an extreme interest in these photos and looked through each and everyone one of them. There was alot of fun in those photos. I think she was a little jealous. This was the first time in 14 years that she did not make this trip.

Overall, my W was pleasant last night. I mentioned that I was going to take my son to a college and NFL football game in September (back in my hometown). My W was o.k. with it.

I also mentioned that we needed to start thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. This is usually when we purchase our airline tickets for my family. Because of our situation, I suggested that the kids stay here with W this year and I'll take them to my parents next year. I also said that I wanted to take the kids to Colorado the day after Christmas for a "snow" vacation. My W was surprised! She said, "I figured we would celebrate Christmas at our house." I said, "This may not necessarily work b/c my family would feel uncomfortable visiting this year b/c of our situation. It would put unnecessary stress on all of us. My family always visit during the Holidays. I'm not sure if I said the right things here, but it seems that the W was disappointed. What does this mean? I ended the conversation by saying "there's no need to make any decisions tonight and we can discuss it later...no problem."

This morning, my W was again in good spirits. She helped me dress the kids for school and actually initiated the "good-byes" this morning. She never initiates "good-byes" with me (the small things again).

I went to my ballroom dancing classes this evening and had a blast. I never thought this would be so fun (it doesn't hurt that my instructor is gorgeous as well). I'm really enjoying this GALing thing! My W does not know I'm doing this...I just texted saying that I was going to be late from work this evening.

When I returned this evening, I could tell my W was not happy...she had to do work for part of the evening. Later, she was ugly with me and the kids about sleep time etc. People on this board are correct when they say to expect jeckyll/hyde moments from the WAW. I did not let this affect me...I had a nice evening.

Good night,
LFG