Hi all...pretty new to this, but this post caught my attention. I have been considering divorce for the last 2 years but am actively fighting it because I have two young children (7 and 3). Husband has not been physically abusive in our 10 years of M (except for one shoving incident nearly a year ago that he was very regretful about and has not repeated), but he is verbally abusive on a regular basis. The pattern is something will set him off (me, work, a commercial on TV, etc.) and I get a tirade directed at me, complete with obscenities, name-calling, finger-in-my-face, and much yelling. I am not a yeller and have tried all the "defusing" techniques (and alternate approaches to communication---I'm a therapist)...no success. My mind wanders to divorce more recently because I don't want my kids to grow up with this as a model for a relationship (aside from the fact that I'm so desperately miserable when he's around.) I have been to counseling for myself; he refuses to go. On my own, I think I'm a pretty level-headed, content person. When I'm with him, it's walking on eggshells and my stomach is in knots.
I know this is a website about saving your marriage at all costs. Are there any conditions when that may not be the best thing to do?
Not sure if this was the best place to post...sorry if not. The whole site is a bit overwhelming for a newbie.
