so if you now suddenly understand that you were not being a good husband/father inspite of your w's attempts at getting you to see BEFORE she decided to file or tell you it was over why do you expect that now she'll believe you will behave any differently if she continues to stay m to you?
Seems men need that game of cat and mouse...ingore us when we want you but when we are fed up and don't want to be with you anymore that's when you'll pull out all the stops to get us to stay..as soon as we accept and want to be with you there is no more chase and you resort right back to your old ways.
Why would we want to continue that pattern? And for that matter why would you?
LL
There wasn't anything "suddenly" about it lostlove! It was a process, a 'learning' process. I didn't realize the damage I was doing at the time. But I got 'smacked' hard enough to finally realize it! Then I went to work on myself...I learned. I'm now a better man, father, and partner than I've ever been in my life! I made the changes because they needed to be made! Plain and simple...and for no other reason! I don't have any control over what she believes now...I didn't make these changes to change her beliefs! But...I did make them! She can believe what she chooses to believe. I don't 'expect' anything...I just know that I'm a better antlers now! If she continues to stay married to me...she will definately benefit from the changes that I've made. If she chooses to divorce me...then she won't benefit from my changes. Regardless...I will continue to be the man that I should have been all along!
Sometimes, unfortunately, that's what it takes for some of us to realize that we've been screwing up badly! Respectfully, don't mindread! You might have that conversation in your own head, and actually believe that, but that doesn't mean that's the way it is. I'm gonna be the man I should have been all along...no matter what! I'm not resorting back to my old ways! Ever! I have no control over her beliefs...if she chooses to believe that I haven't changed, or that I will resort back to my old ways...I have no control over that! I'm gonna do what I think is right, and she can believe what she will.
I have no desire, or intention, to continue any pattern...nor do I want/expect her to. People can certainly change for the better.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
