I think even a visit to your regular doctor might help your H. I know that when I went to IC after all of this happening with my ex, I told her that I just wasn't sure that I was a sexual person. She disagreed.

I have done quite a bit of reading on my own, blushing most of the way. However I realize that if a guy thinks this is the way love is expressed to him, then I need to face that. I think a lot of my issues stemmed from the first affair and never really addressing it.

Theoretically those issues wouldn't exist right out of the box with the next guy I consider having a R with. So I am more hopefull. I think you both need to explore each other with the actual act being taken off the table. I think that will relieve some pressure plus be a great way to try new stuff for foreplay. Slowly things will progress. Say what you like and encourage him to do the same. I think there is always help available, we are just afraid to ask.

hugs, kat

Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory