So they have a "new toy" which is exciting to play with. And they're discovering their "old toy" is fun to play with too.
When a person has the comfort of being able to make a choice and isn't forced to make a choice immediately, what would motivate the WAS to make a choice at all? When they have a choice between an exciting new lover and a great spouse and no one is making them choose, don't they have the best of both worlds?
After over 2yrs where my WAS couldn't/wouldn't make the choice, 2yrs & 3 months of a sexless existence, as soon as I decided to start dating & really move on last month he wants to know if I'd like to go to counseling.
Gucci, Robx, Puppy, Phoenix, et al, IMHO have the benefit of their history & an enormous amount of time on this forum, etc., to pass on what they have derived.
It's such an individual choice, although I do believe if I had taken a different position towards the beginning I would have had a much different result.
Sunny
(who gave up attempting to get her thread back after months of trying, to no avail)
H=50yrs me=50yrs S=17yrs S=6yrs Married 9 yrs DB forum 4/23/07
