Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[sandi2]

Just do what seems to work. If it isn't working.....you will know by her attitude.

[MrBond]

Thanks Sandi.

I was almost thinking that her response about the L was a defensive mechanism. Like I was getting too close to her inner self, so she lashed out with a threat. I flipped it around by telling her that she's gotten everything she wanted and that she should figure out why she's so angry. That was more for her to fix herself rather than me taking what she was dishing.

I had read a response that a woman had written on a midlife crisis forum elsewhere that she was glad that even though she wanted to leave, her H told her "Whether you want to leave or stay is your decision, however I am asking you to stay." so she understood that ultimately it is her responsibility and decision to leave but the door was open for her to stay. I wrote those exact words to her the day she talked about the L.

I guess it's like when your H told your D that he couldn't make you love him.

Right now I'm just cautiously optimistic.

[MrBond]

So I went out to the gym after work yesterday and went home to chill. My W wasn't really in a talkative mood, so I didn't push it.

She seemed to be back to her quiet mode again. Up and down and round and round.

[robx]

I read the title of this new thread and it got me thinking,
I don't think we can give this burden to God.
He knew the paths our lives would take before we even existed, and he knew before we knew the problems we would experience in our lives.

The burden you have currently isn't something you can offload on to him. You can pray and ask him for clarity and look for the subtle cues in everyday life that will give you a hint on how to proceed from day to day.

[robx]

He gave you this burden as a chance to grow and learn from it because he knew you have the ability to do just that if you pick yourself up and believe in your abilities.

[MrBond]

robx,

Ah very good post. Aside from the "God" aspect. I think it's more of an understanding, realization, etc. that I can't "control" what isn't mine. So I just do my own thing and leave everything up to God/fate.

Even if my W left me today, I'd be okay with it in that I know that things will work out.

I have just come to that peaceful place where I feel I've done all the work to change for the better and now it's time for the good things to come to me.

I guess that's the "attraction" stuff again.

[robx]

just remember that you never stop realizing all of your available potential, continue pressing forward, continue to learn, evolve, grow.

[MrBond]

Yep. Out of all this mess, I've learned more about myself and people in general and am looking forward to a new phase in my life.

How are things in your sitch?

[25yearsmlc]

So I went out to the gym after work yesterday and went home to chill. My W wasn't really in a talkative mood, so I didn't push it.

She seemed to be back to her quiet mode again. Up and down and round and round.

both of these past 2 posts mean you are letting HER create your world. Don't. Be in charge of your life. You give her so much power over you. And then you'll say you know you'll be okay no matter what. STick to that statement and make it your new mantra and say it out loud, along with the Serenity prayer, hourly if you need to. there's nothing wrong with that. But do it. You have been stuck for too long making some progress but kind of missing the big overall point. Til recently with the lines about being okay. Adopt that attiude through and through. I'm sort of saying you need to take some of the advice you hand out here...been there, done that.

Good luck,
j

[MrBond]

25mlc,

You're so right. I'm so used to writing about just her on these boards that it does seem like I'm still revolving around her.

Okay, let's see...tonight I'm planning to cook dinner, maybe work out a little, enjoy some family time with the kids and relax.

I'm thinking of a few things I wanted to do personally and was planning to jot them down in a checklist.