... So much of what you describe must sound familiar to a lot of us here....the disconnect from reality, the apparent cognitive dissonance - and I think a lot of it is genuine in the WAS...it seems like a lot of times they truly do think they're doing what's best...but I think what gets mixed in with their thinking is a history of bad habits and effective manipulation (which the we, the other spouse, often played into more than we might have thought).
...not until we were separated, not in one another's space, and I was living with myself and having to look at myself through my own eyes, did I realize just how much I played into the negative dynamic that had become our interactions.
...As an aside...just wondering what kinds of stuff you might have planned for you and your kids to do together...time spent living, doing, being in the moment, seems to do so much for our children (and ourselves).
Carlos,
This is all SO true... We had a "dance" that we both contributed to and a pattern that was ingrained...
But, if only one partner is willing to acknowledge his/her role and wants to try to break the pattern, the dance doesn't change.
Because you're right, that both partners contribute to these dances, both partners have to be willing to break their own patterns...
Otherwise an impasse is reached...
To answer your other question, the boys want to play more golf; so we're going to make more time for that.
D11 is learning how to cook, so she's going to teach me... Given that it's about time I learned...
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
