Like the new name. The real me knows it's not pathetic. My struggle right now is that I find myself wanting to give up although I've fought so hard to make it this far. I know all the reasons why getting back together would be the best for all involved. But seeing H as he is, I wonder if he'll ever really love me the way I deserve to be loved and want to be loved. I don't think there will be anyone who can love H as I love him - who would love him unconditionally after all he's done - but I'm not sure if H would ever appreciate or acknowledge that. Maybe I need to get over wanting credit for standing by him, standing for our M.
I've pulled far away and it's easy to do when I don't have to see him. When I do see him, he's nicer, so I try to reciprocate.
I think you're right that there's more than meets the eye. But how I think it would make such a difference to me to hear H sincerely express some regret and remorse! Seriously - is that too much to ask for??
Having other interests does wonders for the self-esteem. Have a had one here and there over the past few years, but sadly, there are none at the moment... Might be a good thing, because at this point, I may very well take anything remotely interesting that comes my way.
The real me knows it's not pathetic. My struggle right now is that I find myself wanting to give up although I've fought so hard to make it this far. I know all the reasons why getting back together would be the best for all involved. But seeing H as he is, I wonder if he'll ever really love me the way I deserve to be loved and want to be loved. I don't think there will be anyone who can love H as I love him - who would love him unconditionally after all he's done - but I'm not sure if H would ever appreciate or acknowledge that. Maybe I need to get over wanting credit for standing by him, standing for our M.