Jealousy is a negative emotion, it is fear based. Not the base I would want to rebuild on. Especially if I had a choice. Cheers
Sound wisdom!
OK I'm going to reply again on this logic because I tend to be overly analytical and need to have the logic spelled out for me and have a question answered based on the ideas & opinion's going back & forth.
"...Jealousy is a negative emotion, it is fear based. Not the base I would want to rebuild on. Especially if I had a choice."
Jealousy is a negative emotion and it's fear based.
I agree with you on that statement, totally 100%
Alot of us started reading tons of books and started scouring the internet for information on how to get our spouses to notice us again and rethink the current situations and alot of us did this (ok I'll speak for myself here, I'm enjoying the honest brute force approach lately) because we were scared of losing our spouses. We were scared & lonely. We were jealous of the "new friends" our spouses had made, that they were getting & giving attention to our spouses and we were left behind & discarded like yesterday's newspaper. Everyone else on this site can say the opposite, that they're not afraid of losing their spouses, they aren't jealous of the people our spouses prefer over us, they aren't jealous that those "love chemical" feelings that our spouses are currently feeling for others isn't being directed back to us where it should be. We aren't afraid that our families are being destroyed, our kids are being hurt emotionally, we're being hurt emotionally.
Yes this is all fear & jealousy to begin with, I totally agree.
But it does transform into something else.
I'll speak for myself: fear & jealousy among other feelings motivated me to get off my duff and do something about this. Review my life, change the things that needed to be changed, found out that I enjoyed personal development, witnessed that my life actually improved because of the positive changes I was making, I continued to evolve, press forward, realize more untapped potential, etc.
Those feelings of jealousy & fear aren't there anymore, they're replaced with confidence, strength, courage and a great sense of self-esteem, self-respect, self-value and self-love.
So if I'm at this point in my life where I'm doing 100% (if not more) better than I was when all of these problems started, technically these changes in my life were built originally on a base of fear & jealousy.
