Remember they dont know what they dont know. They think they know but have no idea.
You cant change her mind she has to want to change it. The way she does that is HOPEFULLY work on her stuff and decide to WANT to WORK on your M. Sometimes the D has to happen first.
All you can do is work on you. Hopefully this will create the seed of doubt that is needed to grow into to her changing her mind.
Wifey, do you mean me? I don't think I jhave been making life miserable for her...
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I'm going to go dark, I guess. I am going to reread the last ditch effort part of the book. I will continue coming here for support and advice.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Wifey - Divorce should be the LAST option NOT the FIRST like it is for so many today. Especially w kids involved.
Sometimes just effectively communicating so the LBS can comprehend any issues is enough to turn things around. Some WAS's will never know how good it could have been.
This is so hard. I don't know how to act around her. Just finished dinner with the boys. Trying to detatch, hard to do when she is around.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Maybe the husband did things to make life with him unbearable.
Interesting to notice how the LBH's reacted to Wifey's statement. I did not think for a second she was pointing fingers at any particular man. She was speaking in general terms.
See, so many guys get down on all WAW's (in general) to the point I wonder if they stop and think that there are a few cases where the WAW just got fed up with living with a jerk.....or an abuser.....or bully, and finally gave up on him EVER changing...and she left! LBH's are not always the angel and the WAW a b*tch, just b/c she was the one who left.
One of you immediately thought Wifey was refering to you, and another one thought that she meant that D was the first option and then another thought she must be speaking from experience. I didn't know whether to be amused or sad. Guess it depends on where you are sitting.
I'm not trying to start a debate......just wanted you all to see what I immediately picked up on. Think another gal saw it too.....(hummmm)....interesting.
Just try to keep it balanced, guys.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, you do bring up some very good points. Some H's are mentally abusive and don't realize it. They just think they are the king of the house, so take it and do your "wifely" duties and be thankful I allow you here. Even if they are not physically abusive, sometimes it is much worse. I believe that wifey could have been indicating something to that nature.
Sandi, can I get you to look into the last page or 2 of my thread and answer a couple of questions I left for you. Newbie with waw2. Thanks
