You have been doing everything you possibly can. Is there anyway you can work anything out with the Dr's office while this is being resolved? If anything this should just go to show you what a wonderful parent you are: your husband let your house go, you found another place for you and the kids; you take your kids to nearly all of their appointments(giving H the benefit of the doubt that he may take them to a few), you take them and support them in their creative and extra curricular activities while your H only shows up if it is convenient or will benefit him in some way. You are their rock and their role model.
They adore you and so do we.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory