First off, this is a terrible thing to say "but she is a mommy's girl." . So what, she is still your child. That's no excuse for not seeing her!!!!!!!!! As a matter of fact, IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE HER INTO A DADDY'S GIRL!!!! And WHO THE HECK GETS TO JUST WALK AWAY FROM THEIR CHILD? I don't care if I was on life support, I would want to be with my children! I am sorry, but that is just WRONG! Even if its for short visits to the park.
Secondly, this process HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU NOT YOUR W!!! So stop trying to figure out what she is doing, AND FOCUS ON IMPROVING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thirdly, I have just gotten all the questions people here have asked you that you HAVE NOT ANSWERED. I would strongly suggest, if you want ANY HELP, you answer EACH ONE INDEPTH ( I would say each one could fill a page or 2) !
1) What did you get out of the DB books? 2) What have you always wondered about but not investigated as an activity? Theater? Auditions? Photography? Classes? Current Event clubs? Scuba? Work on getting a Degree of somekind? Gardening? Parenting? 3) What have you done to contribute to the dimise of your M, SPECIFICALLY? 4) to quote you - "My marriage was not the greatest because we never really emotionally connected." - WHY? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS!! There must have been a connection at one point did it just fade away? 5) What are you doing to improve yourself OUTSIDE OF MEDS AND WALKS? 6) What did you do in the beginning to make her fall in love with you? 7) Why did she think you were selfish what did you do? DETAILED, SPECIFIC EXAMPLES! 8) Are you being the best dad you can? If not, you are LOSING THE ONLY CONNECTION YOU HAVE TO YOUR W!!! 9) How did YOUR relationship begin? DETAILED AND SPECIFIC 10) What were the early days of your marriage like? DETAILED AND SPECIFIC 11) How did having children affect your relationship? DETAILED AND SPECIFIC 12) How did it deteriorate into its current state? DETAILED AND SPECIFIC 13) What self-help books have you read? 14) What do YOU want? 15) Have you gotten therapy or are you now? If so, WHAT ARE YOU LEARNING IN THERE? 16) How long has she been complaining about your behaviors? Why didn't you do anything about it before? Is it b/c you (this is not an insulting question but an honest one) did not think you really needed to change but now realize that even if you are "right" you are losing her? So now you want to be happy, rather than right? 17) How can you say you are giving her space while ALSO asking her about EAs? 18) do you want this marriage or not? 19) Have you watched the movie "Fireproof" ? 20) What changes does she want you to make? 21) What are the 180's you are doing? How are you GAL? (getting a life, what NEW things are you doing to help you direct your life? 22) Are you upbeat when you talk? 23) What did you get out of the DB books? 24) You have to see each other some time if you have a daughter, correct? YOU SHOULD BE HAVING CONTACT WITH YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 25) What all does your W want from you? 26) Do you have a gym membership or somewhere you can go to work out?
