Living, Loving, & Learning one day at a time

[Treese]

Silent....wow....thanks for taking so much time with me....

I been just hanging out...pretty depressed but trying to pull myself out of it....here's a chain of events....

1....S12 goes camping with friends over the holiday...supposed to come home last Sunday or Monday...ended up coming home on Sunday early...I was happy because I couldn't get a hold of him at the campgrounds...no signal...it was his birthday and I was crushed....I did leave a message in case he could retrieve them...I think he grew...he looked bigger when he got back...I just hugged and kissed him....I missed him...
2...D22 was here since last Tues moving her fiance back home because of his job...she went back and forth between our houses...Sunday I cooked out...just the 5 of us....and we sat at the table...laughed and told stories...it was so nice..D22 went to bingo with my mom and when the got home we all played cards...it was fun...

3. Monday morning D22 left for home...I was sobbing...I cry harder every time she leaves because its longer and longer between visits...I miss her, she is my rock...she comes to my house and fixes everything...I'm learning but she is a very independant woman, and guess what... I raised her... she will never have trouble on her own...never has....

4...D17 senior pictures needed ordered so she drove me to that appt....I'm trying to teach her to drive on top of everything else...we had fun ordering those....


Then I bowled last night with the girls...I am a sub for them and its so much fun....

Got home and didn't get to bed until 12 :30..

On top of this I have started a health diet...not to lose weight but to be healthier...walked 40 mins. yesterday...shins are hurting this morning..shin splints....blah..

Then I was on the computer and all of a sudden my phone beeps...guess who? I see that it is H...heart is pounding....wonder what he wants now....I read it....It says, "buddy have fun?"...my first thought was wow, he hadn't even tried to contact him but why didn't he just text my son and ask him...why me....it's another calm before another storm...aauuuuggghhhhh.....

I text him back and just say....he got home on Sun. and yes her had fun...

of course, he says "I thought he was coming home on Monday"...at this point I don't even want to talk to him...why? I ask myself....he claims he's done with me and if he is I dont' need to talk to him...he can talk to the kids directly....he makes it a point to get into my head and mess with my heart...its time the tables turn...

My question is....why is he texting me? Is it to be nice so I'm nice back and will do what he wants? I won't...I can't...

sorry for the long post.....