Clark,

You appear to be equating "holding the walkaway accountable" with "bitterness." I agree that sometimes that's the case, but it isn't ALWAYS the case.

It's possible to fully hold them accountable, as adults who made a marriage vow (contract), and not hold bitterness in one's heart toward them.

Not EASY, mind you, but certainly doable.

I think the best metaphor I was given was to "shine a light back toward the marriage." I think that's about right. Bitterness ain't much of a light.

Puppy