Hey, what does IMHO mean? I think that you have to be very careful in trying to figure out why the A happens, I think that its very easy to justify the actions of someone you love so that you can keep loving them, but sometimes their actions simply dont deserve to be justified.
In My Humble Opinion
I am not justifying and I am not suggesting anyone do so. I am suggesting you find a way in your heart to accept love back into your life. Anger and bitterness is not going to accomplish that task.
Originally Posted By: bluerain
I can see how these things happen, sort of track their evolution, but its is NEVER ok to betray your M, and it is always the person who strays fault, the A, not the lack of a healthy M. There are ways out of an unhappy M that do not involve an A.
I am in no way suggesting that the health of the marriage justifies an affair. Fault? Sure, that helps bust an affair up...fault finding is a great way to bring a spouse back...
Forgive, its the healthier choice and always will be.
Originally Posted By: bluerain
There is never an excuse, I dont understand how people can turn things around and justify their A's to themselves by convincing themselves how unhappy they were. If you are unhappy, get out, dont cheat. In fact, maybe an A is a symptom of a not so unhappy M, if it was really that bad they would get out. Mental instability not withstanding of course. But thats just my opinion...
Yes, affairs are a symptom of an unhappy home, but not a hopeless one.
I am not excusing, I am advocating forgiving...Michele speaks a great deal on this subject...
I am not suggesting excusing an affair...they happen and you can be angry about it, or you can be an adult and work past it.
I don't excuse them, certainly if they are multiple in number, but I will forgive someone I too have hurt in our history together...and I reccomend you all do the same...
