Yes staying quiet is good. Many years ago my H and I got into a physical fight that was very very bad. The only one ever. He told his father about it and his father actually called his mother. Get this-he was wondering what THEY did to make H so angry. And she didn't know either. Well, I was not there for his childhood, just his late adolesence and early adulthood and I could have shared a list about 3 miles long with him but I figured if he hadn't figured it out in 27 years he never would. LOL. That was during his last bout with this monster and I think it was a trigger to snap him out of it prematurly because he was so afraid of his temper. So see anger is present through the entire thing as well, just usually not as bad as during the anger phase.

Retribution, yes. I would love to tell her, especially as I have spent twenty years listening to her pity parties about what a horrible mother she was and her guilt, to watch her not change one single iota to be different. But being quiet is important. Especially to your M. That is why I wrote the letter. It helped me deal with my feelings, a release of sorts, but like I said, I will not send it unless there is no reason not to.

Go to the MLC archives and look for thread titled TMAK Explanation of Reconnection. It is a wonderful place to start. I do not know if the link is in the thread titled MLC Resource List or not. I unfortunately have no luck linking things or even in the search window so I have to do everything the long way.

Yes I understand about PMA also. As you get more tired it becomes harder to maintain.


"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox