Getting Un"Stuck" - Giving My Burden to God

[MrBond]

Hello Everyone,

Don't worry, I'm still alive, just not my M yet. ; )

Let's see...

On Thursday, I sent an email to my W at work saying that if she wanted to watch something "adult" over the holiday for a change, we could do so. She replied "ok".

Since the L and "hug" thing on Wednesday last week, my W's been behaving herself.

On Friday, my W wanted to pick up some new shoes, so we all went to Walmart then took the kids to see Ice Age. Afterwards, we had dinner and headed home. She went to bed with the kids since it was a long day, so I told her I was heading out to the gym. It was around 11:00p.m.

On Saturday, we hung around the house. I went out to do some yard work while my W did a top to bottom cleaning of the inside. Afterwards, we went out to see the fireworks at a beach by my parent's house. We parked at my folks' home and when we went in to say 'hello', I was surprised that she actually went and gave my mom, dad and grandmother a hug. She hasn't done that in a long time. After the fireworks, as we were heading back to the car, it started to rain. She started to get a little irritable and made a comment. She said "I'm sorry, but we're not doing this next year" So I was kind of surprised about that. In the past, I would have snapped at her, but I figured I'd try something different. So I agreed with her that it was bad timing and she softened up after.

On the drive home, we were lightly talking and I was telling her a story about my friend which she laughed at. As I remarked earlier, my making her laugh, is a big thing. She has been doing much more frequently in the past week.

When we got home, I made some soup for everyone and my oldest daughter and I made some shrimp chips. Then when everyone went to bed, I stayed up to do some reading.

On Sunday, I got up early and picked up breakfast for everyone. I left her alone and did some reading on the side. Around noon we took the kids to a carnival with rides and a midway. We all had a blast and left around 6. Both on the rides there and heading home she was pretty quiet. I just left her alone. At dinner, she was pretty talkative and happy.

So that leads us to Monday. I have the day off as a furlough day, so I did alot of my own personal errands and went to the gym. I didn't call her and just saw her in the evening. She was again in a pretty good mood.

And that's how things have been going. For my GAL, I had been taking the kids out here and there over the weekend when we weren't doing activities with my W. (Thanks Sandi!) I did my own thing when I wanted to, and had a great time with my W. It seemed like she enjoyed it too, but I don't put my hopes up about that anymore like I used to.

I know alot of people lately have been pushing the "isolate the spouse" kind of idea to get their spouse back. And believe me, I had tried it a couple of times when we broke up before we got married. But DB is about what works and we're at a different place than we were back then. So while I have been doing my own thing and not let my W run my happiness like before, I have also been building her up with compliments here and there and keeping things very light and fun with her when we do interact. Is it working? Who knows? All I know is that I am doing what I want to do without being an @$$ and showing my Ds what a father does. How my W acts or wants to act, that's her deal.

In my sitch, I think if I were to detach to the point of ignoring her and dating, that would send the wrong message to my kids and would be such a drastic change to how I have been acting that it would probably make things worse.

I'm happy though. Even if she were to walk out tonight, I'd still be happy.

Hope that makes sense.