My wife of almost 6 years told me she doesn't think she loves me anymore. We have been less then perfect to each other over the years. I feel she is falling into the walk-a-wife theory. She says she doesn't love me but we still do almost everything together. We go out to eat, church, watch movies and are both very active in our daughter's life. One week she seems ok and then the next she is packing her bags. This has been a huge wake up call to me. I realize what I have to do to change. She has many things to change about herself also. My 2 year old has been the only thing getting me up in the morning. My wife's family lives 300 miles away and that is where she wants to go. I feel the only reason she hasn't left is because she knows how great of a dad I am. I have been so consumed by this situation that I really can't focus on anything else. It has been increasingly harder to put on a smile when my duaghter askes me if I'm ok. So I guess my question is how do I relieve the anxiety I am feeling.
Vito in VA where I live, it is virtually impossible for one S to move the child that far away. The judge almost always sides to have the child stay w/in a certain distance of each other bc it's in the child's best interest to be co parented by both. Have you spoken w/an A? You may want to. If this is the case, you may then want to tell your wife. This may limit her options. Maybe she'll be forced to take a harder look at the M & at least give it a go.
Of course it would be nice to have W give it a go bc she WANTS to, but the end justify the means. I have a WAW friend of mine (not on this board) that had a similar sitch "awaken" her to the fact of having to give her marriage a shot...and 5 yrs later, happily married to same man.
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
This has been a huge wake up call to me. I realize what I have to do to change.
What do you have to do to change? Next question ~~~ which of these things are good for YOU as a person? Concentrate, for you have been given an opportunity to become a better man, Vito. Not to please a woman, but...to become a better man. It may be that will attract your wife again - and won't that be the best! But since you heard the wake up call and realize what you have to do to change - do it for YOU.
Great guys on this board who will help you manage this transformation. Come back often. Cheers ~~~ Me 30 W 28 D 2 [/quote]
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I think I was a little distant at times. It was a cause and effect reaction to what my W was doing. She is a very irresponsible person. She ignores everything.
That cannot be. You'll have to be more surgical than this to sort out your current situation. Being "a little distant at times" is most likely not going to prompt a woman with a small child to bust up her family. What's really going on? Not rhetorical - but also not for you to answer me. A good question for you, though.
Cheers ~~~~
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Vito I just read a post you made on another thread about your W wanting to move 300 miles away and how could you possibly have a relationship with your daughter - as the poster said above, I don't think any state will allow a mother to up and leave with a 2 year old and move 300 miles away against the wishes of the other parent.
Most states require a certain proximity of moving with children and it is very, very rare to allow a parent to move a long distance away and take the children. You need to consult a lawyer who is familiar with the laws of your state.
The first thing you need to work on is detaching... (along with reading the book, not brining up any relationship/marriage talks, no arguing, no questioning her, no begging/pleading/guilt trips, no I love you's, no cards/gifts, etc...)
