Seperated

[LitlHopeAlwys]

Wow. I really hope that you can stick with your 180's. Jealousy is a terrible thing. To feel like you have to defend your virtue is a really nasty feeling for a woman to have. It destroyed one of my favorite relationships. I hated feeling like I wasnt trusted. I started to change my behavior because the awful fight and constant phone calls werent worth the evening of fun that I would have with my friends. I really hated how I let his inability to trust change me. I definately think that you should seek help for this if its still a problem for you.

I really think that you need to move slowly, and dont recommend fireproof to her, maybe have it around, and if she asks about it tell her, but I think that you trying to get her to see it would put pressure on her, not what you want to do right now. I would work on re establishing friendship, not repeating old behaviors that you know dont work.

If she pulls away now, dont pursue her. If she doesnt answer the phone leave a message and wait... and wait some more if you have to. Keep things business like and be positive, make positive changes for yourself, and wait for her to notice.

I would recommend going over to peicing and see if you can garner some advice from there.

Thanks for the advise Bluerain. Yes the jealousy is the hardest thing that I am coping with at this point - I'm working on it with using a lot of patience - thinking about every word before I say it and the effects that it will have.

I didn't suggest she watch the movie, but the case was laying out - she picked it up and looked at it briefly, didn't say anything.

Sunday, we spoke briefly about what each of us did for the day. This morning I sent her some balloons to her job to let her know that I was thinking about her. She called me at work, thanked me, and said that I am really confusing her. Not want I want to do - she also said she wants to know why I am doing everything I am doing - couldn't answer her just thought to myself that I finally realized to stop fighting with her and fighting for her
She also mentioned that I was still wearing my wedding ring - I could hear a happy tone in her voice - almost like she was glad that I haven't taking it off the last 4-5 months.

When she called at work today she brought up the issue of possibly Retrouvaille, before the end of the month. She asked me too look deeper into it and make arrangements. Told her that I would and have a great day at work, and I would talk to her whenever. She also said to me are you sure that we can work this out, and be together - I reaffirmed her that I know we can, and she said are you going to go out and have fun and dance with me - I told her that yes I will(not something I ever did before) - one of my 180s that I promised to myself is that given the chance I will take her out and dance - no matter how foolish I look - what do I care what others think - I have a great woman with me.

It seems like this may be a ruff part of a roller coaster ride coming up, I have a feeling that it will be a minute by minute conversation depending on what kind of moods she goes through. I'm almost scared of the way that I think things may flip-flop in her mind and me not catching it faster enough to realize the mood changed.

I am still keeping my PMA, working on myself and doing my 180s(she was actually impressed that i was getting back in shape and even lifted my shirt to see the shrinking beer belly).