SO are your declaring yourself done? Your plan, goals and actions will all be different. The possiblity to reconcile will become smaller.
I am declaring myself already dead. But I have always -- well, for much of time -- declared myself already dead.
@Greek poked a stick in my cage, leveling the "you're a walkaway" charge at me. @Kalni took exception to this notion. @Greek said that from @Greek's POV I'm "still married" -- which would, by definition, mean that I am (preparing to have) having an affair.
I am merely pointing out that, at law, I am not married. The state does not list me as "Married." It lists me as "Legally Separated." I am in a different category.
I then pointed out that there are those -- @Puppy, for example -- who are "always" married until the marriage is dissolved. This, I said, was a question of "will" -- or personal preferences -- and not a juridical matter.
But on the great tote-board of the Superior Court system of Coastal County here in Coastal State, I have been moved from Category M to Category LS.
Thus, I cannot be "stepping out" on my "marriage," there being no "marriage" -- in other than a psychological sense of the term -- out of which to step.
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The possibility to reconcile will become smaller.
The possibility was always small, approaching nil. As she wrote to her sister in one of the emails left on my computer, "There will be no reconciliation -- never (but I didn't tell him that, of course). I'm going to counseling because if I do I hope he'll be more cooperative about the money."
We're actually in the middle of a spat right now, as a matter of fact. She texted 3 times and then left a VM because I didn't reply to her texts, which said that the day-camp had called her because D6 "isn't herself." She then e-mailed to follow-up on the VM that followed-up on the texts to say she VM'd instead of texting because she assumed I was on a date and was ignoring her.
Now this is the woman who, 1 hour before, saw me in my running gear, having received a text 3 hours before that said I might -- or might not -- be in the house when she arrived, depending on when I left for my long training run for the Chicago Marathon I got talked into. (11.5 miles today.)
But, when I (finally) replied with a jocular -- I'm on a date? Aren't you one to talk? -- she wigged out.
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Nobody said this was a fair and equitable battle.
No, nobody did. And I don't recall ever having said someone had.
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If I were you I would pray for wisdom and discernment. (had to sneek that in :))
Awesome! I love it! Good Christian Man Friend said the same thing during our tennis game last Friday. Soon as I find a goat and a chicken bone I'll get on that.....
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Be wary of making a long term decision based on a emotional near term want. Most people don't make great decisions when they are scared or greedy.
Not following you on this one. If I "sounded" scared in my discussion of WAW's date today....I must not have had the sound high enough (it goes to 11). I'm accepting of it. It's her journey now -- not "ours."
