Technically I am not still married. I am legally separated. It is a different status at law and in the eyes of society writ large.
I do not hold myself out to the community as a married man; Herself does not hold herself out to the community as a married woman -- indeed, she publicly and openly holds herself out, by her own admission, as a single woman.
We did in fact run into each other this a.m. during the kid exchange and she was dressed to the nines, with more cleavage on display than I'd ever seen. And when I said, "Wow. Must be a hot date today," she blushed redder than red and tossed her hair which, in the body language of Herself, always = Totally Busted.
She will talk about this date with all of her friends -- that is her way. She will talk it up beforehand and dissect it after. She has announced to all the world -- even to me -- her desperate, desperate desire for sex with a new man.
So I have no "wife" in the eyes of the public, and since I have no gods I have no marriage in the eyes of them, either.
The only "I'm still married" argument I could make would be one based purely on will -- I WILL consider myself married until I'm not.
But in every practical sense of the term, except for the rapping of the judge's gavel, I am not married. So I can hardly be "stepping out" on my wife. As there is no woman in the world at this time who claims that title.
SO are your declaring yourself done? Your plan, goals and actions will all be different. The possiblity to reconcile will become smaller. Nobody said this was a fair and equitable battle. Only you can decide when you have had enough. If I were you I would pray for wisdom and discernment. (had to sneek that in :)) Your kids are watching you. Be weary of making a long term decision based on a emotional near term want. Most people don't make great decisions when they are scared or greedy. This is your journey. If you need a mojo hand I got one you can borrow till you get yours back. You can handle it. DBing was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I used my POW training to help me, I told you that once before and I was serious. I would bend but not break was the mentality. Strength and Honor brother. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
