I'll be around AK, but have family coming tonight so may only check in briefly.
Also, don't get sucked into how all this is your fault. You withheld sex...okay, own that. It sucks but then somehow I feel as if two other things may be possible. He may not have been terribly lovable at that time, so guess what? You didn't feel loving...and 2nd even if you were a cold fish, okay, you are no longer that. NEXT..."a problem being worked on, is a problem solved". So you can say that you "get it" and won't do that in your NEXT R, but you cannot tolerate this crap right now anyhow. I mean do you need to take this BS for what, a decade? 15 years? How long does he get to use that "blame assignment", without any responsibility on his end and while ignoring that you are different now? Your approach is not working. And it's not healthy for anyone. End of story.
Sorry. That's not to say there won't be other "chapters" possible later BUT your desire to "have a family together" cannot be at the expense of having a healthy R with yourself, or a man, or your kids, and how can you have any of those if you tolerate this insanity? Besides, your family is not together anyway....and you cannot have this craziness - as you are really starting to recognize. YOU ARE GETTING IT and I can see that. SO - in a way it IS simple, but not easy.
((( j- )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
