I am getting worn out with this

[mvgolfer]

Hi VH/All,
Not sure how to correctly reply, or even start threads here. Had a recent change over the weekend, and I don't know what started it, why, etc. And I am not sure where to post now so I can get some feedback.

But, H said this weekend he wants to work on our R and he thinks it could work out. At first, I was feeling quite happy about this, but now I worry if he will waffle again. So much wierd stuff has happened (that I am aware of ) over the past 2 months or so.. women chasing him, being out with his 'buddies' until 3-4 AM, etc., etc. , that I am not sure if I can handle being kicked in the gut again - or even the thought of having everything fall through.

Here's another strange twist - so he has a female co-worker that he has apparently cried his heart out to. Not that big of a deal for me - but then I saw an email he wrote to her that was quite emotional - said' I am sorry I didn't get to spend as much time with you as I wanted. It is so hard that what is so close to your heart is so far away'...he said that they are just very close and she has been there for him while he has been going through this, and his work issues as well. WTH??!!

The email made my stomach churn. He said I shoudln't read too much into it. He also said he had to leave early(to me) to go to the office today, and then in the email he was aksing her if she was going to be in work early and that he could stop by before his flight to Japan.(he later changed his mind and wanted to hang out with me at home until we both left) What should I think? He acts and tells me how much he loves me, wants to be with me, wants things to work out, how he will miss me (for 3 days),and sends a woman an email like that?

I have never disbelieved his sincerity before, but now I really wonder. He says this woman is married, he has no interest 'like that' in her, she's not his type, they are just really close.

It was really hard for me to not react. I didn't - but I still had questions, which I thought were legit. Feeling really numb right now and confused. What does he really want, was he trying to cover up?

Any advice for something like this? Keep detaching? I think this will be another day of no eating for me...

On another note: golf was great yesterday. I love my irons, hybrids not so sure. I miss my 5 iron. Can't get loft on the hybrids, now. Distance yes, height, no. I need more practice.

Hope everybody had a nice weekend.
-marsh