Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

Sandi,

Thank you for sharing your experience, it sort of confirmed what I suspected about the process leading up to a WAW's potential "awakening"- many variables combining together along with the timing. Not that I want to get away from the most important variable in my sitch (improving myself), I was just curious about other external influences that eventually changed your sitch in your H's favor. Such influences can't be that random can they? Aside from DBing, the only other significant influence I've read about thus far on the boards is when the WAW is faced with the enormity of the D, then they maybe question what they are doing and don't act on it- setting the stage for Limbo.

Anyways, another question for you. Something I'm having a problem with in my DBing is being noticeably upbeat/positive and/or friendly around my W when I'm feeling less than happy about our sitch. Specifically, this is when we are alone together. When we are around others or having fun somewhere- no problem. What I am finding is that I am able to default to not speaking to her and being neutral- not displaying any outward emotions. I'm not deliberately trying to be cold to her, it just seems to be the easiest way for me to deal with her at the present time this way. So far, she hasn't initiated much conversation during these times, so I don't know how awkward she may or may not feel about it. Something that got me thinking about this was when she told me a couple of R talks ago that she felt like she was "living with Mr. Spock"- her response to my attempts to talk rationally with her.

I am finding that I can be consistently respectful and considerate to my W, but being openly friendly to her is a big challenge given the way she is treating me. Any thoughts on how I might be able to overcome this?