I am not trying to be unkind or insensitive to your pain but is it really surprising to you that a WAS is not totally honest about their intentions ESPECIALLY when it comes to dating?
Yes, I agree, it is IMO simply the right thing to do for either spouse to not date/start a R until some legal documentation is in place unless both spouses are on the same page about it. Sadly though many WAS dont agree with that line of thought because in their mind the M is over and the paperwork/legalites are simply a formality.
To this day my H will still remain firm that his affair (which began while he was still living with me) wasnt really an affair because in his mind the M was over so it was okay to start another R. Its nothing more than a load of BS especially when he hid it for months and months (I knew but kept it to myself). People that are in "normal" R's dont have to hide them from their spouse!
A date is just a date. That is not to say it doesnt hurt any less or make you feel awful because the actual D isnt that far away and we would like to think our spouses would have some honor towards marriage in general if not honor towards the LBS.
Its ok to be pissed but being pissed isnt going to stop her from (A) being dishonest about her intentions or (B) stop dating. So, IMO, I would act like it isnt even a blip on your radar. And maybe it will help you get to a new place.... why would you want a woman that cant even be honest about something as simple as going on one date?
When it comes to dating/sex/affairs the WAS will come up with things that honestly deserve Emmy nominations because they are usually just that creative in their justification. If it didnt hurt so much it would actually be comical. My H actually told me that his affair wasnt about us but just a little something for him. I mean.. c'mon! Looking back I can laugh at that now but at the time, well, be thankful I dont own any pointy weapons!
