C - I was thinking the same things as I read your post. The SAME things WE have all been telling you from day 1. Which you dont WANT to ACCEPT. She is CAKEEATING!!! You are ENABLING her CAKEEATING!!! Dont know what else to say that hasnt been said already. Stop trying to CONVINCE her to come back. I seen this on this site so much and it never works. It is PURSUING=PRESSURE=UNATTRACTIVE=Why you are on this site?!?
I agree with everything Sandi said. Go dark! I know you are afraid to let her think you are not wanting her anymore. but BINGO!!! that is what we are ALL saying is EXACTLY what SHE needs to think. She NEEDS to think YOU have changed your mind. YOU DONT think shes the right woman for you anymore. YOU DONT want to talk to her. She has ALL the power. She is your PUPPETMASTER. She pulls your string and YOU jump. STOP IT!!! She doesnt want you NOW either way. SO stop worrying about what she thinks about you. It doesnt matter what she thinks right now. SHE is CONFUSED.
Yes. She will REACT with anger. Yes it will appear that she is upset with you. ALL POSTIVES!!! She will be mad because you are not acting like her PUPPET. She will not have CONTROL. She will be forced to take her RESPONSIBILITY for the situation for YOU, HER and the BOYS. I dont understand how come you are not getting this. YOUR WAY is NOT working. Mr. Nice Guy is being treated like crap. The only way she will ever RESPECT you enough to want to TRY again is if you start DEMANDING her RESPECT. End every conversation that turns into her pity party. Be a friend and say that your sorry to hear that but change the convo to you and the boys like most of your friends would.
Dont let her PUNISH you with GUILT anymore. YOU are human! You made some mistakes. Everyone does. You didnt CHEAT. YOU didnt HIT her. Those are the biggies. You HURT her now she gets to PUNISH you for eternity. Grow up!!! She needs to stop blaming everyone else. You need to stop ENABLING her behavior. Keep on responding like you have in both your ACTIONS and WORDS. You respond well with the words "I already aplogized for my part now I dont want to talk about it anymore..." NOW respond with your ACTIONS. I dont feel guilty anymore so I dont need to coddle. Dont need to call and check up. Dont need to support her "physically". Show her by your ACTIONS that YOU are NOT going to let her PUNISH YOU anymore. Get that RESPECT back and you will see some changes from her. If not then there was NO HOPE anyway. At least not now. She is too caught up in the blame game to really WANT to work on things.
END all PHYSICAL CONTACT!!! You are just prolonging the inevitable by ENABLING her. She CANT miss what she STILL has!!! That is what your mising. Keep on repeating this to yourself. I CANT CONVINCE HER TO COME BACK. I HAVE TO DETACH!!! I CANT CONVINCE HER TO COME BACK!!!
