Can't remember where it was, but the thoughts you are expressing are ones that newbies & oldbies trying to detach need to remember... To me, the simplest way of looking at this is to remember that as long as you think you're detached, you aren't detached; because you can only be detached when you Know you are detached...
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
...Its interesting, while the act of detaching is sort of a universal process it is also a very personal one.
...I could give a rats ass about my H when we went weeks/months w/o talking at all but when I had any contact with him I backslid terrible. Which of course means I wasnt detached but simply distanced.
As humans I think are natural insticts are to fight (not physically, I just mean fight for what is "right" to us). So when we stop the fight and just become an individual it is an odd feeling. I can openly admit one of the hardest aspects of all of this for me was NOT considering my H and his feelings, not being there for him and not protecting him despite the fact he was acting like a heathen.
...Detachement is really the first step but it also means there is much work to do. Build on this momentum.
CG, can you point me to your "thought stopping techinques" link or a good resource?
Thanks,
AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
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