Finally trying to move on without H

[beepee]

Hi Gardener:

i tried to hang out with the kids but couldnt and all the adults dont really speak, they just play cards and gamble. i found it really hard to talk to anyone right now. i understand that they dont know what to say so they dont say anything. i understand and appreciate it so i wont expect anything from them.

in regards to victimhood, i wasnt displaying any. i just felt lonely in this room full of people. i cried because it felt lonely, not to get anyone to console me. it jus came on. and i didnt wanna cry in the room so i left to the front porch where no one was. so i dont know. i just know that i shouldnt expect anyone to do anything, even though i believe that doesnt mean there should be some degree of courtesy.. if i saw someone in the room crying or walked away crying, i would for sure go and see if they were ok, esp if i knew they were on medication and everyone knows. but thats just me. im learning to deal with it. my entire family and relatives arent emotional, they dont show their feelings, im the only one who does and im trying to accept that no matter how hard it is.

great quote by emerson by the way. i shall make sure to read it often! thanks gardener, hope youre having a great day today.