"Actually wife, we did communicate about this. It was my impression that you wanted the kids the whole weekend because your parents were coming to town. I was good with that. I did the right thing for you, the kids, and your mother. Since you had the kids, I made other plans for Sunday...I gave up time with them because I thought you wanted it. In the future, let's make sure to clarify exactly what days we're talking about when we change the schedule. I've nothing to hide. If you want to know what I'm thinking...just ask. I'll be glad to fill you in."
What do ya'll think?
ps - Why does she say 'where are you' or say 'you obviously have something to hide'? She got mad at me a short while back because she thought I had 'gone out' when I offered to let her have the kids before we left to go on vacation! If she doesn't care, as she says, then what's with this attitude?
I think you should run your text by us before sending it. I understand the point about a** kissing but I think you do have some culpability in making sure plans are clear. But, I like it. The only thing that really irks me is the whole "I did the right thing...". I mean that just has nothing to do with it. You were honoring her request and she's still giving you sh*t, I get that but it isn't some huge moral right/wrong thing. YKWIM?
As for your last paragraph, welcome to my world. Control, manipulation, insecurity...don't know. I will say, I see the connection between our sitches in that the WAS feels so wronged (whether valid or not) that they feel entitled to maintain some authority or Spousiness with you. In sync with what Sandi was getting to and I'm certain Robx would concur, eventually, you've got to stand on equal ground and be your own man (or woman in my case). I have felt from when I first read your threads that your guilt would be your achilles heel (as is mine). At some point, you are entitled to, if not be forgiven, at least be respected as a sovereign individual. You seem to be getting there.
Good mornin' AAK.
I like to run my texts by you folks before sending it...it has helped out a lot in the past. I agree that I have a responsibility in making sure plans are clear. Glod you liked it...I thought it was OK too! I was using Coach's advice of calling her on it when she attempts to read my mind! It has nothing to do with morals.
I feel like I'm getting there too! In the meantime, my oldest daughter and I were texting and she asked what was up...and I told her I was hiking and climbing in the Wichita's. I'm sure she communicated this to her mother. So, wife knew that I wasn't doing anything that I shouldn't be doing! I get a text from wife later on that said...
'I don't care what you do or with who, but when you're going out of town the kids have the right to know.'
If she doesn't care, then why'd she get so mad when she thought I went out a while back, and why'd she accuse me of having something to hide?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
