Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Excuse me? She slept with your father? Huh???? Whoa......weird!

Yup, my life is slowly becoming a Jerry Springer show, eh?

So, some things I didn't get in last night:

XW seemed to be having a rough go of reality Thursday night when I picked up the boys. First thing that got her I don't really understand, my cousin had called to say she was going to be out for a little bit but should be back in time for dinner. I told her "no big deal, I'm picking up the boys from 'the ex's". I caught XW's face out of the corner of my turning pale white and just so upset looking, huh?

Then we got into talking about the child support paperwork not being submitted to my work for automoatic withdrawl and I asked her if she could check with her attorney on what the hold up is as they won't return my calls. This seemd to erk her and got her started about finances and how questionable things are looking on where they will live, but she "has til the end of the month to decide, but doesn't want to go downstate and give up her job as life is messed up enough already".

So, in response I got into how mine has been turned upside down financially and told her that it looks like the best option is for me to try the Navy again. I went throught my reasons, feeling like a burden to my cousin, if and when I do get a place of my own it will likely only be a studio apartment of which I refuse to live in any type of apartment and besides, I'll be working all the time so what's the point? So since I have all but 5 boxes of stuff to summarize the last 34 years of my life, it really makes sense to do it.

This prompted the kicker: A full on apology for her doing this. For once, I actaully believe it. I saw the unquestionable uncertanty in her eyes and for once I can safely say she is starting to realize that the grass isn't as green as seemed and by jumping ship and ending the M for OM was not the better option afterall.

OH!, I darn near forgot this!....

As I mentioned, XW had texted me earlier in the day Thursday to say I could pick the boys up before 6 if I wanted. Well, I did my running around and was running a little bit late to get the pictures developed. So with 20 minutes to go before 6 I and dropping the pictures off to be developed I'd just kill a few minutes with a quick beer.

XW then texted asking how long I'd be and if she had time to take a shower before I got there. In light of our 'rekindled friendship feeling' I jokingly texted back "puhleeze go ahead and take a shower" remembering how sweaty she was after being at work as warm as it was. She texted back "what's that supposed mean" and on damage control I replied, just a joke.

So when I'm at the store, I texted XW if she needed anything. She replied back "yes, tampons". I responded knowing she is on the shot and doesn't need these anymore "for real?". She came back with "just joking". Now, I may be looking into this too much but before, if she would have asked, my first and only response to that question woul dhave been 'yes, only because I love you'. So I'm not sure what she was trying to get at, if at all, maybe it's just me overanalyzing.

Anyhow, in explaining all this to my cousin the next morning, she feels the same and that XW is trying to repair some of the deep uderlying damage she's done. Agreed?

My cousin did ask if I'd take XW back if it ever came about. My instant response, of course, it wouldn't be easy, but of course.

XW didn't have much to say when I dropped them off last night as they were "in a hurry to go to a fireworks show". And now we are back to the lies, she went downstate and I know it, why bother lying? So that kind of killed the mood of the weekend, but overall I have some faith that at least we are working on being better friends after all this.

In thinking about that, I do feel great today.

Funny, for half a second Friday morning thinking about the possibility of XW trying to come back, I had the sinister thought of "stealing her back" from OM.