I was almost a WAW from a M of many years. I've been here on the board for two years this month. I have come to the conclusion to just start telling LBS's to stop all the BS and go straight for dropping the rope. Have you read that part of the DR book? It doesn't mean to go file for a D or to leave your family. Read it again, if you already have covered the book.
I have given a lot of advice about living under the same roof with a WAW, but if you want to cut to the chase, drop the rope. When she sees that you show no interest in her whatsoever and you do not enable her A whatsoever and you do not cater to her or even "care" what she does.....EXCEPT that she shows you respect and that your children are not mistreated, then THAT will get her attention. Everything else just makes her mad or turns her emotionlly off towards you.
Don't misundertand what dropping the rope is. It's important that you realize that it is not being cold, rude, mean, etc. You just don't give her a special place in your heart or your life. You treat her as if she was a distant casual friend and nothing more. Yes, it's hard to do. YOUR emotions will suffer in the beginning, and it takes a strong man to do it, but if you want to survive this ordeal, start detaching today. Drop that emotional rope you have tied to her and start making life about you and the children. You don't owe her calls, emails, TM's, nothing.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
