AlexEN, Your tone says so much about how you're there for your children - and I admire the calm with which you managed to convey an experience that sounds nothing short of gut-wrenching. I can't imagine how it must be to hear your son go through such pain, though he is so very fortunate to have you there as his father...sometimes, on this site, I read the words of people in your situation - in which they begin insulting their spouses - or inviting the insults offered by other posters - and I'm glad that is not the case with you and your situation. As angry and hurt as you must feel at times - and I think you've expressed more hurt than anger - you've certainly managed to find ways to learn about yourself through your sitch - and that self-awareness will be vital for your children.
I'm so glad that GoingToFixMe wrote what she did above - and I agree with her completely - that you validate and listen to your children, you don't tear down their mother, and you be strong for them...and, I might add, since it's not always encouraged...I believe that showing our children our sadness and our tears is also a sign of strength - as it gives us a way to model for a healthy way to feel and grow through even the worst moments in our lives.
The turmoil of your day breaks my heart - though I find a lot of hope in the personal strength, honor and virtue you've shown through all of this - which I know can be especially difficult when dealing with someone that seems so destructive in their narcissism...
One last thing I would add...though I don't know how it is with bi-polar children - they do seem to feel better when they have the comfort, safety and love of a parents that allows them to experience all the bursts of emotions that flood through them...I just had a day like that with my S12...who just broke down crying with me one day...and didn't know why - until after he cried and then he could tell me that it just sometimes makes him so sad that the woman I married....his step-mom of four years - just couldn't find a way to work on herself...and instead had to break up our family...though he then added that he felt like things are much better without her - since the calm in our home is like nothing we had experienced with her over the last few years...
