D*mn it, why can't she let them express their feelings without making them feel guilty about it or that they are wrong for feeling what they feel? I think D is afraid to express how she feels for fear that she won't be heard...
You accomplish this by being there for them and being open. You validate and listen. You don't tear down their mother. Be strong for them. Be their family. Let them talk. Really, really listen. Therapy is good. Continue to work on improving yourself and your relationship with them. Give plenty of hugs. Make time for each of them separately as well as together. Be available.
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
