Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[sandi2]

That's a relief, b/c I wondered if you got turned around or confused about the concepts of DB principles. I have seen some bad things go out as advice on the board. It is by well-meaning folks and usually it is by a Newcomer who is trying to jump in and give advice. I think they can be compassionate but they need to learn themselves before they are really at a place to advise others. Hope that didn't come across as though I don't think they should say anything, but some people do misunderstand how some of the techniques work. I have been shocked to find out how some things I have said have been misunderstood by the one receiving the post. So, it all goes back to we humans not thinking on the same track.

'Standing up' to her is something I have to think about, and handle carefully, because of the controlling and overbearing prick I was in the past!

Oh, yes, I understand in your case that you have to be careful, but Antlers, your case is not the norm around here. When I was speaking about LBH's standing up to their WAW, I was speaking in general terms. I do hope you will be very careful, however, in trying so hard to show her a softer side to yourself that you don't go too far that direction and allow her to walk on you. That could happen, you know. In "standing up" to the WAW, I don't think that a LBH needs to be over-bearing in order to show firmness and get the respect he should have. In fact, I've told many men to speak in a soft tone of voice to his W b/c that will do more than raising his voice or showing a gruff tone, would ever do.

I don't know where on earth that you get the idea that I feel anything other than what I'm telling you now! I've never said otherwise. I think it's possible that you misread, or misunderstood my post that you referred to!

Maybe I did misread it or didn't get the context you were putting it in. At any rate, I am glad to know that you still belive that Michelle's teachings are based on honor and truth. I was shocked and knew it didn't sound like the Antlers I knew! So, glad we got it cleared up.

Have a good night.

Sandi