Someone else commented about why the WAS would be so surprised that the LBS is desirable to others and I was trying to make the point that a) I don't think they are surprised and b) It means very little with regard to what the LBS was bringing to the R with the WAS and c) despite the frustration for the WAS and that it gets the WAS's attention, it doesn't necessarily register as evidence that the WAS will get that new sparkly LBS in the M if they come back (been there done that) and it goes both ways...watching an ex hook up with new skin sucks and hurts and is weird but can be more about ego than envy.
WAW hit me up with some texts this evening, getting prepped for the return of Themselves to the familial manse tomorrow, and could she drop their things off in the a.m. after they go to day camp, and if I could please just let her know when it would be convenient for me to dash out of the house for just ten minutes -- but she could do it in five if it's really, really, really inconvenient -- and she doesn't mean to be a bother but she knows that I'm packing for our trip to Big Midwestern City on Tuesday and she really, really doesn't want to be trouble but she totally understands if it's an inconvenience and.....
Okay. Krap krap krappity krapification of a krapitude.
Looks like I'm going to have to be a grown-up and ameliorate some of this separation-in-the-midst-of-separation and try to reduce the tensions.
I know, I know, she has to learn how to do it and deal with the struggles and what-not, but these are struggles of her own creation, projecting struggles onto me ("he'll freak if I drop the stuff off while he's there").
Oh, I suspect it smacks of some rescuing and is bad DB kung-fu and will make it ever-so-much-more easy for WAW to WAW, but for goodness sake. We're parenting two small kids. I can at least make that bit as easy as possible if only for their sake without rescuing WAW emotionally. Can't I?
I am missing something. How are youi rescuing her if she's dropping clothese off to you? (Wants you to oyt to get them? Won't go in her ;old; home? What?). Seems reasonable to me to drop off the clothes. If you are not comfortable going out to get thema, pretend you don't see/hear her, and let her ring the bell.
Also, much easier to have clothesde that! For the most part, stay at either home. Then you don't hav e to transfer!.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
What?! You have to leave the house so she can bring the clothes in without seeing you? Screw that! What are you, the HUnchback of Notre Dame? You live in the house, you take care of the children. She can walk in the door and say hello to you like you are a human being. Or maybe like she is a human being. Because with the stories I hear, I am beginning to wonder.
WAW hit me up with some texts this evening, getting prepped for the return of Themselves to the familial manse tomorrow, and could she drop their things off in the a.m. after they go to day camp, and if I could please just let her know when it would be convenient for me to dash out of the house for just ten minutes -- but she could do it in five if it's really, really, really inconvenient -- and she doesn't mean to be a bother but she knows that I'm packing for our trip to Big Midwestern City on Tuesday and she really, really doesn't want to be trouble but she totally understands if it's an inconvenience and.....
Okay. Krap krap krappity krapification of a krapitude.
Looks like I'm going to have to be a grown-up and ameliorate some of this separation-in-the-midst-of-separation and try to reduce the tensions.
I know, I know, she has to learn how to do it and deal with the struggles and what-not, but these are struggles of her own creation, projecting struggles onto me ("he'll freak if I drop the stuff off while he's there").
Oh, I suspect it smacks of some rescuing and is bad DB kung-fu and will make it ever-so-much-more easy for WAW to WAW, but for goodness sake. We're parenting two small kids. I can at least make that bit as easy as possible if only for their sake without rescuing WAW emotionally. Can't I?
I can't even decipher what this means. What does she want? To come in YOUR house when you're not there? Does not compute. Seriously, can you re-articulate what exactly is meant to transpire?
Well, yeah -- when someone "done" who is walking out of my (our) house leaves a note on my computer where it cannot possibly be overlooked and then sends a 1,000 word e-mail that basically rewrites every moment of the past 18 weeks -- yeah, I find that to be curious. But perhaps I'm odd that way.
SP if you were so detached to find pleasure with another person , the note and the email would not mean a tinkers dam to you. So by finding a distraction you do yourself an injustice. Time changes many things and I believe that if you are putting yourself out there, there is a good chance you would regret it. Let W do as she pleases. Stay on the moral high ground for now. woman dont view sex as simply as you put it. We place much more emphasis on the intmacy of the act rather than the physical.
You do your children a disservice because while you are having your ego stroked ( so to speak and in your case, pardon the pun )you are removed from the sadness and loss your kids are feeling. Keep in tune with them here. They will be frightened of being displaced etc etc.
Say " Drop your stuff off anytime - no trouble for me "
She is looking for some feel on your feelings. She aint let go, she needs to know that you still care and what a better way to gauge that than evoke an emotional response.
Why is she in so much contact with you ? Go dark SP. Let her wonder. You say you co parent 2 kids but in all your previous posts you emphasis that you are the main parent. That being the case unless it is of utmost kids business, dont respond.
