I think you should remain lovingly detached. Let the next few days (and couple of weeks, even) be about his family, and their loss, and keep your distance. Validate, without agreeing.
I do see a little bit of pursuing/supplicating from you (like responding to his pissy "I can get it elsewhere" text, and not just letting him drive up separately). Try to avoid that stuff, and get thru the next couple of weeks. Keep doing your own thing, and calling him on his behavior if it's flat-out rude.
The reason I ask about the sex is that I do think he has a right to know where you stand on this. If you're not against it (and that's a very personal decision), then that's one thing. But if you are, then you should tell him, and unapologetically, in my opinion.
