Finally trying to move on without H

[beepee]

needinghope:

thanks for your post. i understand completely about seeing things differently when the depression is lifted slightly and i cant wait for that to happen soon. when i feel the anxiety coming on, i just take my anxiety pill and just curl up in bed and cry until it goes away. maybe not the best thing to do but for me, at this very moment, its the most comfortable thing to do in such an uncomfortable situation.

i understand your last bit of advice but since ive already emailed him teling him that i want him to say that to me, i cant turn it back unfortunately. i know hes not going to reply and if he does, i know he will say that he is not in love with me anymore. either way, i know that i cant focus on it anymore and im ok with it, even if he replies or not. i will give him all the space he needs because i am no longer contacting him. i know he still loves me but unfortunately, he DOES want the divorce so i have lost the hope. if he wants to come back, great. if he doesnt, thats fine too. i was a much more productive, healthy and generally better person, before i met him and im going to get that back with or without him. to me, at this point in time, im looking to the future without him. so im no longer going to force anything on him, just force myself to move on. im not saying it wont be hard without him, it will be hell but its worth it to get my life back. thanks so much for your support